Moribund Melbourne

Yes, a shock title I know and one that may upset/cause offence. Many have extolled Melbourne's virtues as we have travelled this land, but really, there is not an awful lot to do in Melbourne except eat a lot and spend lots of money on drink, both of which we are trying to avoid... Our aim yesterday was to see if we could fill our day sightseeing only free stuff, and we did pretty well. After taking the free City Circle tram for an exciting forty minutes, the friendly voiceover informed us that the "Ian Potter Gallery" was free, so we jumped off and in we went - and no, we have no idea who Ian Potter is either. We got inside just in time for the (free) 11am tour, and as we were the only takers got a (free) private guided tour of the Aboriginal art exhibits on the ground floor. Very nice they were too. Afterwards we thought we had better see the (free) upper floors with other Aus art, just so we could say we'd seen it but unfortunately it was rubbish. Sorry Aussies but once you've been to the National Gallery in London, or the Prado or Uffizi, the Ian Potter Melbourne Art Gallery filled with pastoral scenes of pioneers and their missuses in the Outback just doesn't cut it. After spending ten minutes quick-marching past the exhibits we left to have a (free) look round St Paul's Cathedral. Nice stained glass. The last pope went there once. That was about it.
Next the day's highlight, for me at least, was the (not free) lunch at Sushi Train (perch on stool, sushi goes around the middle of the bench on a conveyor belt). Anyone who lives in a decently sized city is probably au fait with these, but if you're from North Wales and you love sushi they are the height of excitement. After I'd eaten all the raw fish I could possibly cram in we headed for the (free) State Library of Victoria. This really was nice, actually. It has a beautiful reading room under a huge dome, full of leather bound worthy tomes and special stands and lights for reading them. There is a chess room, where Andy and I had a hotly contested game, until we realised Andy had been in check for the last three moves and neither of us had noticed... We declared a draw and plan to go back for a re-match today. On the upper levels of the library, around the dome are some interesting exhibitions on the history of Victoria and the rare book collection, which contains some very old works including a King James Bible and some works by Chaucer and Dickens. The library's prized possession is the original Ned Kelly's armour, although the helmet is on holiday somewhere else at the moment so the one you see in the picture is a mock-up. All very interesting, and a good and cheap couple of hours were spent. Our evening was spent in the cinema, watching "Babel", which was excellent, and being ignored at an Italian restaurant, we think it could have been something to do with the way we were dressed... The main reason for this unprecedented monetary outlay is our hostel - a vast prison-like structure with tiny airless rooms and bunk beds. The communal areas are filled with drunken 18 year olds trying to pull each other and the bathroom is a ten minute walk from the bedroom. Not somewhere to relax and enjoy your evening. We're expecting tonight to be a bit more comfortable as this morning I managed to steal, through bravery and cunning, a fan from a vacant room.